Sunday, October 14, 2007
Below the Line
IF AGEis just a number, the numbers have just come of age. Perplexing numbers rule lives nowadays as the Alpha-numerico Sapiens awaken in the newest evolution of mankind. As if the brain is a crunching machine, assigned to alphanumeric applications where numbers and passwords are key. Phone numbers, mobile numbers, credit card numbers, PAN, CIN, TIN, login, and the list goes on. We jog our memory to keep them top-of-mind all the time. Nobody’s complaining and marketers are circulating more of that, the latest being ‘toll free’ numbers.
That’s not all. Fineprints and footnotes in every marketing communication are straining millions of eyeballs and eardrums. Bank agreements, car loan documents, insurance schemes, and what have you, are littered with fineprints — jargons, asterix and numerous tit-bits for the brand-new Alpha-numerico Sapiens. Maybe, Gen Z and beyond fall in this category, but that again is a general observation. I, for one, is loathe to play the numbers game as I find it too tedious.
For once, try going through the Red Herring prospectus before applying for shares in the next IPO you come across. Baffled is not the word. It’s ridiculous at an age and time when obsolescence is already obsolete. We live in the NOW and we’ve got to do a job. The fineprints should do just fine when people like us retire.
Ask anyone if he ever bothered to go through them seriously. My belief is, mostly not. Nobody has the time or inclination to read through all those footnotes and conditions in those agreements. So all you do is copiously sign all the pages and cheques and get done with it. No questions asked and nobody insisting you to go through that exercise. Euphoria of asset acquisition keeps you too
much on a high to worry about anything else. Over the years, it has been rendered a tame formality at the hands of marketers that saves them a lot of time and marketing efforts. They are happy keeping it that way.
The new age communication is giving rise to new genre of audio onslaughts these days. While driving to office, I heard this mutual fund ad on FM radio. At the end of the ad, a funny voice breathlessly rattled out something like from a cassette tape gone bad: “Mutual fund is subject to the market risks. Please read the offer document carefully before investing”. Ask any of these marketers if they have as sharp a hearing to comprehend a gibberish sentence spoken in fast forward mode? Thanks to our prudent lawmakers, who made it mandatory that the marketers of financial products serve such a message without bothering to find out how is it being adhered to.
Last month, I wanted to get my damaged ATM card replaced. It seemed so easy to call up, but that call led me into a hosts of options one after other where I had to punch in several identification numbers before I could place my request. How many numbers can you remember and I am supposed to keep this numbers secure lest they fall in unscrupulous hands! Don’t forget these are the days of multiple credit cards and banks accounts. “Why don’t you use net banking,” my friend once quipped. “I do all my transactions on the Net.” Now that adds another user name and password to the list. It looked so much simpler when my father got such jobs done in one trip to his bank branch, although he would wait in a long queue. He never seemed to mind that. Most youngsters today would sneer at any such option.
However, plastic money has its convenience. I don’t have to visit my bank just to deposit cheques or withdraw money. I can do that at any ATM around the corner and that keeps me happy till the day when I absent-mindedly leave my card in the machine posttransaction. That has, on two occasions, left me jittery and desperately punching numbers on cell phone to get the card blocked. The same process of recollecting TIN and CIN begins till finally I reach the phone-banking executive. Phew!
An average person today is loaded with numbers or passwords to keep him going. Want to check your mail? Log in with your username and password, online investors have to keep their demat login ready, online railway booking requires your identity proof (PAN or passport number) apart from credit card number and password. And I find it funny that how alphanumeric language and fineprints are increasingly invading our lives even though we are light years away from Mars.
That’s not all. Fineprints and footnotes in every marketing communication are straining millions of eyeballs and eardrums. Bank agreements, car loan documents, insurance schemes, and what have you, are littered with fineprints — jargons, asterix and numerous tit-bits for the brand-new Alpha-numerico Sapiens. Maybe, Gen Z and beyond fall in this category, but that again is a general observation. I, for one, is loathe to play the numbers game as I find it too tedious.
For once, try going through the Red Herring prospectus before applying for shares in the next IPO you come across. Baffled is not the word. It’s ridiculous at an age and time when obsolescence is already obsolete. We live in the NOW and we’ve got to do a job. The fineprints should do just fine when people like us retire.
Ask anyone if he ever bothered to go through them seriously. My belief is, mostly not. Nobody has the time or inclination to read through all those footnotes and conditions in those agreements. So all you do is copiously sign all the pages and cheques and get done with it. No questions asked and nobody insisting you to go through that exercise. Euphoria of asset acquisition keeps you too
much on a high to worry about anything else. Over the years, it has been rendered a tame formality at the hands of marketers that saves them a lot of time and marketing efforts. They are happy keeping it that way.
The new age communication is giving rise to new genre of audio onslaughts these days. While driving to office, I heard this mutual fund ad on FM radio. At the end of the ad, a funny voice breathlessly rattled out something like from a cassette tape gone bad: “Mutual fund is subject to the market risks. Please read the offer document carefully before investing”. Ask any of these marketers if they have as sharp a hearing to comprehend a gibberish sentence spoken in fast forward mode? Thanks to our prudent lawmakers, who made it mandatory that the marketers of financial products serve such a message without bothering to find out how is it being adhered to.
Last month, I wanted to get my damaged ATM card replaced. It seemed so easy to call up, but that call led me into a hosts of options one after other where I had to punch in several identification numbers before I could place my request. How many numbers can you remember and I am supposed to keep this numbers secure lest they fall in unscrupulous hands! Don’t forget these are the days of multiple credit cards and banks accounts. “Why don’t you use net banking,” my friend once quipped. “I do all my transactions on the Net.” Now that adds another user name and password to the list. It looked so much simpler when my father got such jobs done in one trip to his bank branch, although he would wait in a long queue. He never seemed to mind that. Most youngsters today would sneer at any such option.
However, plastic money has its convenience. I don’t have to visit my bank just to deposit cheques or withdraw money. I can do that at any ATM around the corner and that keeps me happy till the day when I absent-mindedly leave my card in the machine posttransaction. That has, on two occasions, left me jittery and desperately punching numbers on cell phone to get the card blocked. The same process of recollecting TIN and CIN begins till finally I reach the phone-banking executive. Phew!
An average person today is loaded with numbers or passwords to keep him going. Want to check your mail? Log in with your username and password, online investors have to keep their demat login ready, online railway booking requires your identity proof (PAN or passport number) apart from credit card number and password. And I find it funny that how alphanumeric language and fineprints are increasingly invading our lives even though we are light years away from Mars.
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